Panic seems to be my new best friend!!!! I cannot focus, I cannot sleep. I don’t know what to do anymore. :\\\
(Source: i-m-a-straight-up-kind-of-girl, via deepdarkestsecret)
Grr…. Cannot seem to do a thing right lately. I try, and fuck it up. I’ve been trying my hardest to make everything right…. And it comes up with nothing. Leaving me feeling guilty, hurt, sick, pained all over again. Its at the stage where I can’t seem to cope with the pressure. A million weights on my shoulders.
I feel so sick, I feel like the days continue to tick by without actually making any difference to me. I’m meant to feel good, and I’m meant to be better. In most respects I am better because of the one amazing person who has made me better. But I still get the feeling of emptiness, lonliness, craziness. They occur at the most irregular times - at times when I feel happy and strong. These words, the feelings they describe, suck the strength from my body. They create voices that scream inside my head, like a heavy metal band. Over and over they have their own mantra - “you are not strong enough. You do not deserve happiness. You do not deserve good.” I try not to listen and to only block my ears but I am so defenceless to something that occurs deep within my brain. What’s going on? Maybe my body is trying to tell me something….
I don’t wanna be anything other than what I’ve been tryna be lately.
(Source: neilpenisharris, via foodismyonlyfriend)
(via black-and-white-wish)
